Bucket of nerves

Assalamu alaykum..

Once again I can't sleep.. I have a job interview tomorrow Inshallah and I am so nervous. It's the final stage for the Department of Immigration and i dunno... It's scary. Especially considering it's my first interview, and it's for the job that I really want.

The last couple of days I've been running around getting things ready.. I bought a nice suit and shirt which I can hijabify. And I've been copying documents and collecting whatever else I need.

But Inshallah all will be well. If I get the job - then that's great. And if I don't - then that might be even better. I would be able to take my time with uni, and try again next year. If I do get the job then I have to do four subjects at uni next semester. And with Ramadan that would be tough. I did want to take another semester at uni. But I don't know what's best... Only Allah knows.

So ye.. I'm gonna try to get some sleep for tonight - I have a big day ahead of me...

So Assalamu Alaikum and goodnight.

"Go back to where you came from" Reflections

Asalamu Alaykum

I have been watching the SBS series "Go back to where you came from" - a show about Australians going through the journey of many refugees. Today is the 2nd installment and I have been crying since the show began.

It's just so sad to see all those people go through this. All the pain and fear they are going through it's just oh so sad. And the thing is, I went through that. It was just a small speck in my memory, almost forgotten. And now I have been blessed with so much, but it never got through to me. I live in peace, I have a safe home, safe food, my family is safe, I never go hungry, I can sleep without fear for myself or my family. I have a bright future, even if I live a 'poor' life - I am rich. And Inshallah when I have children I they too will have it all.

All I can say is Alhamdulillah. I have been blessed with so much. Oh Allah please forgive me for all the times I complain. Oh Allah forgive me for being ungrateful. Thank You for all the things You have blessed me with. Forgive my ignorance of Your blessings.

Oh Allah bless these people. Oh Allah ease their suffering and grant them the highest station in Jannah.

I see them and all they have is their bodies and their families. Nothing else is certain. Yet I see a smile on their face. They go through it all with patience and Allah in their heart. Ya Allah please give them Jannah.

Men, women and children - all they want is to be safe and to sleep at night without fear. They are just people. With hearts and dreams just like you and I. It's shocking how they are treated like criminals. And then at the end of all that pain they finally get to Australia and they get treated like dirt. Oh Allah bless them in this world and the hereafter and grant them Jannah.


What an amazing show. Although, it frustrates me to hear some people being so naive and selfish unfortunately there are a lot of people in this society that share her views. I hope this programme is viewed by the masses and it can help to open their eyes a little and break down their ignorance Inshallah. When are people going to realise that at the end of the day we are all human beings no matter what race, colour, and cultural beliefs and we all deserve to be treated humanely!


You can view the episodes online HERE

Another semester gone

Assalamu Alaykum..

After a stressful couple of weeks I am happy to report that my exams are finally over :)))

Mashallah the first two went pretty well, but the last one was extremely hard. It was so detailed and my brain just shut down. To be honest I could quite safely say it was the hardest exam in my life. But Inshallah I did enough to scrape through with a pass. Guess I'll find out soon enough.

This semester went by so fast... I don't know where the time went. But Alhamdulillah, it was also the most satisfying and productive one I've had.

And now I'm back on holidays and I don't know what to do with myself. I have quite a few things to do, but also so much free time. Inshallah I'll be able to complete some courses online. I was hoping to be planning a wedding. But it doesn't look like that's happening any time soon. But Inshallah it will soon enough. I'm just disappointed that now it looks like we have to wait until after Ramadan.

And I need to find a job, especially considering I won't get student benefits any more. Or find another course to study along with my uni degree. But either way I'll have to sort something out.

And it would be good to get away for a couple of days.

And yeah... it's time for bed so I'll leave it for now... Inshallah life will get more exciting soon

Salam

Another update

Assalamu Alaykum

I know I haven't posted in a while... too busy studying... But I thought I'd do a quick little update before I get back into it this morning.

It hasn't been a good couple of weeks. I am just so stressed out with everything, from family, to exams, to weddings, jobs, bills, parents... the list goes on. T o be honest, even all this time I'm taking off to study isn't paying off. I'm simply too stressed, and nothing sticks. My parents aren't on good terms these days, and unfortunately it looks like they might be heading for splitsville. I pray to Allah that He gives them ease in this difficult time and the patience to work things out. They are both just so frustrated with life's stresses and they take it out on each other, most of the time for no reason. But Inshallah they will turn towards Allah and turn to each other, instead of hurting one another. Sometimes I think who am I kidding? But anything is possible by the will of Allah. Please make du'a for my parents, and my whole family.

But I'm trying really hard to let it all go and just focus on studying. Exams will be over in less than two weeks, and then I can work on everything else Inshallah.

But it wasn't all doom and gloom. I've had a few great days in there somewhere too.  met up with an old friend who I was so close to in my high school days and early uni days.. we were together almost every day until she moved to Brisbane a couple of years ago. But Inshallah we can catch up more often.

Mohamed has been great though... (well, most of the time - I was upset with him on Friday cos he was too tired from a 12hr shift to come see me - but he made up for it with a box of Lindt chocolate yummmm). I haven't told him everything yet, cos Im trying to block it out until exams are over. But he knows I'm really stressed out and he's being really supportive. Alhamdulillah

I don't know if I mentioned it before, but I got through to the 1st stage of the recruitment process for the Department of Immigration. I did the online assessment the other day, and I got 20/24 questions correct. I still don't know if I will make it through to the next stage, but either way I'm just grateful to Allah that I got through to where I am. I wasn't expecting any of it. It is my no. 1 choice. If only they offered the position in Brisbane/Sydney this year. Its only available n Canberra. But Inshallah we will cross that hurdle if and when it comes up.

Yummmm.... chocolate...

Anyway. What else?

Ooooh - we paid off the wedding ring too.. its sitting in a secret hiding spot in my room (secret? who am I kidding??)

I went to a zabava ( a bosnian dinner/dance get together thingo) last weekend. It was pretty good, but I didnt stay long though. I just didn't feel comfortable with the alcohol. I'm gonna stick to the non-alcohol ones from now on (which means I'm gonna have to wait till the Brisbane people organise one). To be honest I ddn't even contemplate that there would be alcohol. Before I put on the hijab, I didn't even notice it. But now it was like a needle pricking your eyes the whole time. Only a few men drank, but it was enough to put me off, and so I went home.

And today there is an International Food Day at the Gold Coast Mosque. Inshallah after I do some studying I will go with a friend and her family. Its the first time her baby will leave the house after the 40 days, I think it's awesome that its to the mosque Mashallah. My sisters will be there too, and Mohamed if he ever decides to wake up (I can hear him snoring away in the living room - and he says he doesnt snore lol.)

But yeah thats all I can think of... the rest is just stress and study, or study-avoidance. But I have to get a move-on. My first exam is in two days time, and the next one the following day. So I really don't have any time to waste..

Salam

Study Stress

Assalamu Alaykum...

Unfortunately I won't be able to update my blog for a couple of weeks. I am soooo overwhelmed with studying for my exams that I really can't afford to take some time out. It just crept up on me. Its the last week of classes at uni, and I havent even caught up on the lectures I missed. I was sooo good with the study routine until about half way through the  semester, until the assignments etc kicked in. And then I gave myself too many breaks and days off, and now I'm screwed again. But Inshallah I will be able to catch up and study hard, and get right back on top of things. And pass the exams with flying colours Inshallah.

But unfortunately I have to lay off some distractions, including this blog. But Inshallah I will be back soon.

Salam