Old but new

Yesterday I spent some good quality time with my little sister. We went out for coffee and just a bit of shopping. I bought these runners and she bought a fabulous bag. I loved it. But then we decided to drive down to Surfers Paradise just to see what's new. And I was amazed at the changes. I knew they were building new high-rises and doing upgrades to the shoreline but I didn't expect such a big change.

I live only five minutes away, but when u live here you kinda learn to avoid that area altogether. But to be honest I really liked what I saw and I am looking forward to see the end result.

Here's a couple of pictures I took of the beach-side from my iPhone. Plz excuse the gloomy weather and the poor picture quality

Some hijabi reflections

Its been six months since I’ve put on the hijab full time Alhamdulillah. Some things went by as expected… others were quite a surprise.

There are some things which I never even contemplated.. yet they came to life

For example the tan-line. Who would’ve thought that from now on my face would look like its been dipped in mis-matched foundation?? Not me…

Another thing I didn’t expect was that I really miss my anonymity.. I miss just blending in with the crowd. Its something my friends never really understood. I figured this out at uni. Although there are many hijabis at my campus, there is not one in any of my law classes (to be honest ever since I started uni I still haven’t met any Muslims doing law either). And as soon as I entered a lecture theatre it just felt like all eyes were on me. That’s when I realised I lost my anonymity.

But something that really got to me was that even though I was now covered, I felt so naked. Every curve that poked out of my clothes felt like it was so exposed. I just wanted to hide it. Even though my clothes were loose, the shirt felt like it should be longer, the pants felt like they revealed too much and the chest felt naked. And then I understood when they say that hijab is not just a piece of cloth on your head and the covering of skin.. it was so much more than that. In my family, and in my culture too, hijab is not something that is taken seriously. I understood hijab as loose clothes to cover the skin and a head-cover… and I thought everything else was up to the culture… And although I am still not covered to the extent that I would like to be, the clothes cover much more than they did when I started.

Inshallah I will try to wear long loose skirts when I go out, at least when I am with my family or hijabi friends to start with.. And pretty soon I would like to wear the abaya full time Inshallah. I ask Allah to give me the strength to wear proper hijab and to guide me on the right path. And I ask Allah to let my family accept my choice to wear the hijab and to open their hearts and guide them to the real Islam. Ameen

I wonder what other hijabis found interesting after they put on the hijab??

It's time to make a change

It's been a while since I've seriously had a look at myself... I've been too scared to face the truth.. Too long have I been in denial. But it's gotten way out of control. I used to be fit, going for a jog along the beach every 2-3 days, doing Bosnian dancing classes, eating healthy. But ever since I've met my now-fiance I've kinda let it all slip away. It started with the extra dessert, then the larger serving size (what's with Muslim men expecting you to eat the same amount of food as they do anyway??), then not jogging anymore cos he made me feel comfortable the way I am, then even larger serving sizes, and now an all-out addiction to food. So now I'm 20kg heavier than I was two years ago... And I don't really know how I let myself get here.


But it HAS to stop. I just HAVE to do something about my body.. not for my looks but for my health and for my future children. I don't want my children to have a mummy that can't play with them, or who gets too tired after 10 mins of playing tag with a one-year-old. They deserve better than that. And I pray to Allah to help me get there. And to give me beautiful, healthy children and to make me a good mother to them Inshallah.  And even though my fiance tells me I look great, I still want him to look at his wife and think - wow she's beautiful.. And no matter how many times he tells me this now.. I doubt 20kg down the track anybody will find me attractive, not even him. And yes I know its whats on the inside that counts and he must find something in me.. but its still not the same. 


Ive always had weight issues with my body... but this is out of control. And its time to fix it. So this is it.. I'm going to make a change. I would say I'll first start going for a walk like I used to.. but this place is not so hijabi-friendly for me to go walking by myself. So for now I will work on my diet Inshallah. I'm not making any promises yet.. I need to sit down and make a goal for myself, and then I'll get back to you. But what I can do for now is switch from white to wholemeal everything... that's easy enough don't you think?? I remember when I used to do that I felt so much healthier.. not to mention the reduced cravings. 


So yeah.. that's my rant for now.. I just know I have to do something about this

Another day at home...

These days seem more common lately.. U know, on holidays, car's gone, parents are gone, sisters are gone... The perfect day to sit at home, relax and read a book.. EXCEPT that it's not so much relaxing anymore, more like boring to the point that you want to climb onto the roof and do a dance (no I would not do that even if u paid me big time)...


So I decided to try something different... Looking through some old photos brought forth a hit of nostalgia.. I remembered a time when my mum used to make us yummy Bosnian sweets when we behaved. She would make them in all shapes and sizes, write our names, with walnuts, without walnuts... U get the picture. Hurmice were my favorite. All of a sudden I got inspired to make them.


Now I've never made hurmice before.. But I wasn't gonna let a small detail like that get in the way. Hurray for google. Found a recipe quickly and I was surprised how non-complicated it was. It took some time to make them but the result came out pretty well surprisingly...

Now all that's left to do is to wait for the syrup to soak in and eat these babies :-)