Assalamu alaykum
I have been going through a lot of personal things these last couple of weeks/months. Long story short I am now a single mother. To say I am devastated is putting it mildly.
I dont want to go through the details, I am waaaay to emotional for that. I'll just say he decided he wants to be with a Somali girl afterall and me and Ibrahim are just a "distraction".. it came completely out of the blue. Until he lost his job and went to NZ we hardly even fought at all.
I feel like all I was was a toy. He played with me for a while and then threw me away like trash. He has no reason. He even said so. He says he still loves me (total bs I think) and I have done nothing wrong but he simply wants his old life back. Like marriage is nothing important. U marry a girl, have a bit of fun and then move on to the next one. Just like a halal girlfriend I guess.
I am hurting so bad. But most of all my heart aches for my little boy. What about him?
I cant even bear to write about how much I am hurting for my little angel. Its so hard to stop the tears.
So I will stop.
I just know that Allah has a plan for me. At least now I know what kind of man mohamed really is. This is just a test for me and Ibrahim. And I'm afraid to say that I am failing miserably. May Allah forgive me and guide me towards His pleasure. We don't know Allah's wisdom. But I do know that Allah will not burden me more than I can bear and when Allah takes something away from you it is only to replace it with something better. And Alhamdulillah. I have been blessed with my precious Ibrahim whom I love more than I ever thought was possible. I am forever grateful for having him in my life.
I am trying to remain positive and keep myself busy (I will post some pics of my outings in sha Allah). But its still so hard. I am putting on a happy face on the outside but inside I am breaking. To make things worse I have no friends I can turn to.i really need to meet some pious sisters.
In sha Allah my pain will heal. But I am really finding it hard accept how a father can do this to his first born son. And for no reason at all. (Lets look at facts - all we fought about was him watching too much tv and I was left feeling lonely at times. So basically he would rather lose his family than lose his tv). Whenever I look at my son my eyes tear up again. I feel so bad for him. Who will take him to the mosque? And teach him the Qur'an and how to ride a bike? Who will he look up to? Theres only so much I can do.. my little boy needs a father. Only Allah knows
If anybody is reading this please pray for me and my son.
