My little superman :)

I was at the shops the other day when I stumbled upin this. Whay can I say - I couldnt resist :))

Aaaaand its over

Assalamu alaykum

I have been going through a lot of personal things these last couple of weeks/months. Long story short I am now a single mother. To say I am devastated is putting it mildly.

I dont want to go through the details,  I am waaaay to emotional for that. I'll just say he decided he wants to be with a Somali girl afterall and me and Ibrahim are just a "distraction".. it came completely out of the blue. Until he lost his job and went to NZ we hardly even fought at all.

I feel like all I was was a toy. He played with me for a while and then threw me away like trash. He has no reason. He even said so. He says he still loves me (total bs I think) and I have done nothing wrong but he simply wants his old life back. Like marriage is nothing important. U marry a girl, have a bit of fun and then move on to the next one. Just like a halal girlfriend I guess.

I am hurting so bad.  But most of all my heart aches for my little boy. What about him?

I cant even bear to write about how much I am hurting for my little angel. Its so hard to stop the tears.

So I will stop.

I just know that Allah has a plan for me. At least now I know what kind of man mohamed really is. This is just a test for me and Ibrahim. And I'm afraid to say that I am failing miserably. May Allah forgive me and guide me towards His pleasure. We don't know Allah's wisdom. But I do know that Allah will not burden me more than I can bear and when Allah takes something away from you it is only to replace it with something better. And Alhamdulillah. I have been blessed with my precious Ibrahim whom I love more than I ever thought was possible. I am forever grateful for having him in my life.

I am trying to remain positive and keep myself busy (I will post some pics of my outings in sha Allah). But its still so hard. I am putting on a happy face on the outside but inside I am breaking. To make things worse I have no friends I can turn to.i really need to meet some pious sisters.

In sha Allah my pain will heal. But I am really finding it hard accept how a father can do this to his first born son. And for no reason at all. (Lets look at facts - all we fought about was him watching too much tv and I was left feeling lonely at times. So basically he would rather lose his family than lose his tv). Whenever I look at my son my eyes tear up again.  I feel so bad for him. Who will take him to the mosque? And teach him the Qur'an and how to ride a bike? Who will he look up to? Theres only so much I can do.. my little boy needs a father. Only Allah knows

If anybody is reading this please pray for me and my son.

Sisters day out

Assalamu alaykum

As the title shows today we had a leisurely day at the Broadwater at Southport with my sisters and nieces. We just went for a nice picnic (take away Indian), followed by watching my neice play on the equipment, and then a nice long walk.

It was right at around Maghrib and the sunset was beautiful. Subhanallah it really made me think about the beauty of Allah's creation. We should truly feel blessed to live where we do and have the ability to see such beauty. I for one do take it for granted. The colours were amazing. I didnt get the chance to capture it all since I did have a little baby to feed. But Alhamdulillah.

Sydney trip

Assalamu Alaykum

Last week we took a flight down to Sydney. Thats me, lil monkey and my youngest sister. My parents already drove down there a few days earlier. It was a great trip, got to see some friends and family who I havent seen for a while.

We flew down first thing in the morning and took the train to Auburn where we found my parents and had some yummy sydney kebabs (nothing beats Auburn kebabs). Then we drove to see some family members in Doonside before going back to get ready for the mosque.  There was a gathering at the Bosnian mosque which we went to. That was the whole reason we went to Sydney. All our family was there. It was like the good old days - you know, before all the fights and disagreements led us to go our separate ways. It was so long since we were all gathered together. Alhamdulillah it was a great night.

The next day was a kinda lazy one. Well, we did go shopping and out for dinner but thats about it. And my parents went back to qld. We spent the rest of the day at the apartment with my aunty and cousins.

Then there was our third and final day. We first went to Auburn again for kebabs and some shopping. My sister bought some clothes, but not me - I was a good girl hehe (lol jokes, I just couldn't find anything worth spending my money on). But I did want to go to the Islamic Bookstore there. I ended up buying three books, one on mothering, one on raising righteous children, and one on the beautiful Names of Allah.

Then we hopped back on the train and headed for the city. We just wanted to go for a walk and take a few photos. We didnt spend a lot if time there at all.

We went back to Auburn to meet uo with some friends for coffee, and had some curry at the halal thai restaurant.

The next day we hopped back on the train, back on the plane, and headed back home. After getting soaked by the rain and two pooh explosions by Sir Poopalot we finally arrived on the Gold Coast. Except there was no one home and we were starving so we braved the rain once again and went out for dinner. It was a crazy day that one. Im just grateful for pram rain covers.  At least my little one stayed dry.

The last couple of years in pics

Let's start again shall we...

Yes, yes... I'm back. Its been a while I know. 

Well... I HAVE been very busy.. I have been caring for a little poopy. Yes I have had a baby boy.. his name is Ibrahim and Alhamdulillah he is the best thing that has ever happened to me.  He is the most sweetest, cutest and cheekiest lil guy on the planet Mashallah. And I am so thankful to be blessed with this perfect little munchkin. Alhamdulillah he is the love of my life. 

In sha Allah I will post the birth story in another post as well as a general update later on.

But today I just wanted to say salam (which I forgot to do - so assalamu alaykum).. and to let you know why I am back. 

Basically, I got a new phone (Samsung Galaxy S4 - which I love by the way) and I synced my photos and guess what came up? Photos from my blog, thats what. And it made me kinda sad that there's so much missing that I can't just read and reminisce.  So much has happened, both good and bad. And I wish I could have something to remind me of the time when I was right there..

So yeah.. I'm back and in sha Allah this time I will stick around for longer.