When I have a goal I like to keep my plans organised. And I have the diet down, the support, the motivation. But not the exercise plan. I would love to say with certainty that I'm gonna get out there three mornings a week and just walk like I used to, but I can't. This is one of those times where I wish I could just blend in.
So just as I finally get over the new-hijabi "but everyone will look at me" excuse/fear, this happens. Today I thought I might squeeze in some exercise by taking the 15 minute walk to the shops from my sisters place instead of driving. The walk there was great and we had a great time. But on the way back some druggo bogan who seemed to be suffering from some sort of withdrawal symptoms rides by on his bike and screamed out some of the most lewd obscenities against me, my hijab, and worst of all, against Allah that I have ever heard. It doesn't need to be said, but it terrified me. There I was minding my own business walking home with my sister, and her 15mth old daughter might I add, and he screamed at the top of his lungs at us (well at me since I was the only hijabi there). And he kept screaming while riding away, in that typical manner you see of serial offenders high on drugs. I can't explain how scary his voice was on paper. This wasn't the average bogan you would see sitting outside the pub or at the bus stop minding his own business or giving me the odd stare or a "go back to your own country". This guy was different and his voice was deafening and you could hear the effects of long time drug abuse..
But I was fine Alhamdulillah. Like I told my sister I am happy. I have some thing so irreplaceable. I have this deen of ours. I put my trust in Allah and my hope in Allah, and who was he to try and bring me down?
But then just as my heartbeat calmed down a little, he came back to have another go. He even threatened me. He said "How dare you come out around here like that you f****n &^$@$^... you &%$@#%^... Don't you dare let me see you around here dressed like that you *^@$^... If I ever see you dressed like that again I will slit your throat!" That last one scared me. Just to think that there are people living near me with so much hatred in their hearts is terrifying. I couldn't believe it. Like I said, I even had a baby with me but that didn't matter apparently. There were quite a few people around and many cars drove by but they just looked on. I was just so glad that as we were approaching the main road near my sister's place a police car stopped at the lights we were on and we got home safe and sound.
Don't get me wrong, this is a pretty safe area. I don't live in a ghetto or anything. And I've done the walk from my sister's place to the shops so many times, at least every fortnight or maybe even weekly and it was fine. I've never had any rude comments around here. I'd even see the odd couple of hijabi's walking with their family more towards the residential side of the street. But there is this corner about half way there where there is a pub and a bottle shop and you would sometimes see young tattoo'd guys sitting around there or at the Domino's or bus stop. But like I said, they would mind their own business and would only occasionally stare, and just crossing the road does the trick. That doesn't scare me at all. What does scare me is when they are not sober and especially when it is obvious they are high on drugs or just getting off them. Thats when they are not in control of their thinking.
So ye... no more thoughts of walking alone for me... Although there are quite a few popular walking spots around here where I know I would be safe. Like at the park at the Southport Broadwater or by the beach. Especially the park by the water, that place always has Muslim families out with their kids. But I'd rather be safe than sorry, even around there. So ye.. I guess I'll have to stick to annoying everyone to come with me for a walk. Inshallah. But everyone's always too tired or too bored (or just plain fussy to be honest) when the heat is bearable enough to walk. I would just love to have the freedom of going as often as I like, when I like and at my own pace without depending on people's moods. But like I said, better safe than sorry.
I am soooo glad that Mr M (my fiancé with a popular Muslim name starting with M, I'm sure you could figure it out) is seriously considering moving to Sydney. I just blend in so well over there and I love it. As they say, there is safety in numbers.
On another note, the rest of the day went by pretty well. The diet is going fine.. today's lunch wasn't that great but the dinner made up for it. We had a chicken and salad wrap. I was out of meat for a while so to be able to finally get some in my stomach was great. And M's car is all fixed so Inshallah I'll be able to see him on the weekend.
Ooooh, and he's calling me now so I'd better go... take care and be safe :-)
